My life

Yes, this is a summary of what I have gone through in life.

So, I have really conservative parents who does not allow me to do most of the things I like. Plus, they have a prejudice against Japanese people. To get a word of encouragement from my parents would be as hard as trying to strike gold in your backyard. Not to mention their trust and money. They do give me pocket money but they refuse to buy me a lot of things that I need, but according to their opinion is unnecessary, when it is necessary for me. I guess all of those are normal, but my parents do not care even a bit about my feelings, making my life sorta like a living hell.

Then, there's my school. All I can say that my childhood was hell. I was weird back then when I was in school, and it doesnt help it that one of the teachers in my primary school picked on me and repeatedly ridiculed me in front of everyone, causing them to hate me and not being to respect me as a human as well. The nightmare, although the one with the teacher ended when I was in secondary school continued as most of my primary school friends remember about those vile things, and eventually held a prejudice against me by ignoring me and giving me the look whenever I pass by them. The biggest discrimination that they did against me was by excluding me from a field trip that they organized, but it was still under the school's umbrella. The whole school went except for me and a few others. I was so terribly hurt and sad that I wanted to tell one of the teachers about my predicament, but then I decided that it would be better if I swept it under the rug rather than to create a massive storm.

My entire school was filled with nerds. People who do not know how to assimilate into human society, needless to say have any real human values. Friends to them are toys you can play around when you are happy and dump when you are sad. People who are weird must be discriminated against. What a girl says is always right regardless of whether she is trying to slander someone. And sad to say, this mentality still lasted when everyone was 17 years of age. I had a few friends before, and I lost them due to the poisonous slander of a girl about something untrue about me. There were also some people who think that they have all the right in the world to bully me and treat me like some monster just because I am weird. Those scars lasted until today. All I could do is cover them up and try to go on with life. And it is also because of this that I have lost faith in humanity. I felt that there is no one in this world that I can trust. My parents love me, but they do not understand me.

When I was 14, I had my first taste of love when I found Elise, introduced by a mutual friend. She was a lot like me, lonely and depreciated. Except she had supportive parents. Because of that, we really understood each other completely, to the point we could predict each other's thoughts and moves. She's a really nice girl, but then our relationship became too close, and this caused a lot of problems that would eventually take away our sanity. The time to put an end to it before it does permanent damage to both of us has long been passed. But still, we could not let go of each other until recently. But even after that, we still remained as very close friends. Our relationship was filled with a lot of challenges, we did not meet each other's friends nor did she meet my parents. At first, we could meet each other every day, then, it was every week, until when she had to start working to repay her scholarship, and that I had college to attend to, it was every month, but our relationship did not go downhill from there. It was because of a reason that I cannot state here.

When I was 17, at the very edge of my sanity, I wanted to escape and joined the local co***** club. I will not reveal what club it is for I do not wish to defame this wonderful club, that is to those who meet the criteria of the elite members. The club was all nice when someone who wanted attention accused me of being a hypocrite, a stereotype where everyone of the club hates. And the funny thing is that everyone believed in him as if he was Moses and ignored me. I kept quiet and still acted normal for more than 6 months, until some of it's elite members started to do explicit discriminations against me, and also when I discovered everything about the club. The thing is, everyone's a hypocrite, pretending to be friendly but in reality they hate you. Also, I find it absurd for people who say they hate all hypocrites, when, everyone is one in some stage in their life. Maybe you should define what kind of hypocrite you hate. The truth that dawned was painful. It really crushed me, and it took about 8 months for me to fully recover from the bitter and horrible truth, because everyone was so nice to me.

Right now, I'm in one of the best chapters of my life: college. At last, everyone knows what true friendship mean and they did not abandon me no matter what happened. I am having a lot of fun with my college friends now, and I am very happy together with them. But still the scars from the past have not healed yet...